The Past Never Leaves
by kira66
Summary: Running seemed like a good idea at the time but now, six years later and the death of her husband, brings one women back to face her past. But will running look good this time?
1. Chapter 1

Amy Sinclair is currently sitting outside a small café overlooking the Potomac River in her current home of Washington D.C. She is one of the wealthiest women in the area after the recent death of her husband, Daniel Wellington Sinclair III, a well respected congressman and owner of a the largest publishing company on the east coast. His passing left her not only a widower but a single mother of two children. Emily who had just turned 6 and Ethan who celebrated his 8th birthday 6 months ago.

She couldn't help but smile as she watched her two children play on the grassy banks of the historical river. They seemed so happy and carefree which wasn't the case just three short days ago when the small family watched as their husband and father was lowered into the waiting hole in the ground. She had just wanted to shut down until Flora, Daniel's mother, had reminded her that the children still needed their mother. "Emily, don't go to close to the water." She calls out, breaking her line of thoughts and memories as her youngest child strayed dangerously close to the waters edge. Her smile soon faded as her last conversation with her husband of 6 years played through her head.

"Promise me that if anything happens to me that you will go back, Amy." Daniel stressed to his wife. "You will not be betraying me if you return to your home. To your family. I am sure that they've missed you just as much as you miss them." He embraced her into a tight hug. "When you came to me six years ago I thought nothing of you or what the future would hold. I gave you the job as secretary out of the goodness of my heart only to find myself giving my heart fully to you a few short weeks later. I know of and have accepted your past life. All I'm asking is for you to do the same." He kissed her on the forehead and accepted her silence as agreement.

Amy shakes her head and twists the wedding band around her finger. She couldn't take it off. Not yet. She quickly stands up and preceded to pull a small, sleek cell phone from her purse. He dialed a number and waiting for the person on the other end to pick up. "Haden. This is Amy Sinclair. How soon can you have the jet ready for take off?" She kept her gaze locked on the two children as she waited for the man to answer her question. "Three hours? You're a gem, you know that." She lightly joked with the man on the other end. "I'll see you then. Goodbye." She pushed the small end button and threw down a 20 dollar bill to cover the coffee, cakes and tip before heading out to gather her children.

"Come along Ethan. You too Emily." She slung her purse over her shoulder and held out both hands, Ethan grabbed hold of the right and Emily took hold of the left. Soon they were heading towards their penthouse apartment. "How would you two like to take a little trip?" She asked as calm as she could. She just chuckled at the furious nodding of heads. "Ok then. Once we get inside I want you two to pack your bags. Just enough things to get you through a week." She nodded to Al the doorman as he held the door open and engaged in polite chit chat with Jerrold, the elevator operator, until they stopped at the fourteenth floor. She stepped out into the lavishly decorated penthouse with the children tailing behind her. She let go of their hands and watched as they tore off to their bedrooms to get ready. All she did was sit herself on the edge of the black leather couch. She couldn't help the butterflies that were swarming inside her stomach. Could she really go back? Could she really face the past that she ran from? The people that she left without cause or reason? "Yes." She says her answer to the mental questions, aloud. "I can do this. They don't even have to know that it's me." She pulls the cell phone out once again and dials another number. She hums lightly to herself until a women on the other end picks up. "Remember how we needed to find an out of the way town to place one of our publishing branches in? Well Marcy, I think I found the perfect place. I'm heading out in about two and a half hours. No. Daniel had some...unfinished business there that he wanted me to personally take care of incase something happened to him. Just fax the paper work to the private jet and I'll fill it all out." She nods several times, agreeing with the women over something. "It's called Stars Hollow. Yes. Very odd name indeed." She hangs up and watches as her children trudge out of their rooms, bags packed. "If we need anything else, I'll just get it once we get there." She walks over to the elevator and pressed the down button then ushers the children in once the doors open.

The town car was always parked outside the penthouse so all she had to do was open the door and get in. She gave Miles, the driver, instructions on where to do and watched as the scenery outside began to go from city oriented to more rustic country. She smiled as the car pulled into the private airfield. She helped the children out of the car and onto the plane where they settled for the long flight ahead of them.

Halfway through the flight she scanned her sleeping children with a small sigh. For six years she had lived a lie. She told everyone that she came in contact with that her parents were both dead and she was the last member of the Russell family line. She had told people that she was born and raised on the outskirts of Washington State and that her family came from little money. The only person that she told the truth to was Daniel. She had to make sure that he could accept her for who she was, not who she was pretending to be. He welcomed who she was with opened arms and even begged her to go back and fix things. But she refused with a passion. She had a new life then and didn't want to remember the old one. The one where she had her first child, a daughter, at the age of sixteen and ran away from home to raise her away from her controlling parents. The one where she struggled to make ends meat. The one where she fell in love with a wonderful guy but was to afraid to commit and bolted in the dead of night after a heated love making session. The one where Amy Russell became Lorelai Gilmore. Mother of Rory Gilmore and lover of Luke Danes. Lorelai Gilmore who ran six years ago and never looked back.


	2. Chapter 2

Amy glanced around the small airfield where they landed and sighed. They were only about an hour away from Stars Hollow but it still felt to close. Her eyes landed upon the town car waiting at the end of the runway. "Thank you, Marcy." She mumbles to herself as she folds the send faxes up and shoves them into her purse. She carefully makes her way over to the car with her children tailing close behind her. Emily was the first to get in followed by Ethan then Amy. "Stars Hollow." Amy calls out to the driver as she pulls the door shut.

Soon the hour drive to Stars Hollow ended and the fancy, expensive car pulls into a parking lot in the center of town. Amy had to take several deep breaths before she could get out. She thanked the driver as she walked away from the car, children in tow.

"It hasn't changed." Amy mumbles as they walk down a partially deserted sidewalk. The small family walked past a bookstore who had several unattended tables outside with books on. She can't help but shake her head. So trusting. But these people had every right to be. The crime rate in Stars Hollow was nonexistent according to one of the faxes that Marcy sent her. They stopped at the tables and she watches as her children began to shuffle through the books, looking for something to suit their young minds.

As the children entertained themselves at the tables of books, Amy sat down on a nearby bench and just took in the sights. She smoothed the wrinkles out of her white business blouse as a strange thought popped into her mind. She was wearing an outfit that she would of laughed at six years ago. It consisted of a pair of casual black pants, a white blouse and a pair of white Nike tennis shoes that went with about any outfit and a pair of white ankle socks. Over top the blouse she wore a light blue sweater that Daniel had bought her two years ago as a birthday present.

A single tear slips down her rosy cheek at the thought of her deceased husband. She missed him and couldn't deny it. Her thoughts are cut short after she notices that her children were done with their browsing and had found nothing to satisfy their curiosity. Amy can't help but catch her reflection in the bookstore window. She had changed. Her hair was no longer black and sleek but was now a light blonde and curly. Her body had also changed. After the birth of Emily she decided to not lose all her baby fat. She kept over half of it making her look healthier than before. A tattoo wrapped around her right ankle. It was a chain of hearts, each one colored a different color and symbolizing something different in her life.

"Didn't you find anything?" She asked after returning to her children. Emily shook her head fiercely. "No Momma. They didn't have anything that I wanted." The child pouted slightly. Amy chuckled at her daughters actions before turning to Ethan. "Don't you want anything either?" Ethan looked at his feet sheepishly. "No mom. I don't think I'll get anything this time." His voice was quiet. She smiled at the boy and ruffled his hair. "Ok. How about we stop back another time and see what they have?" A series of "Yes" could be heard as both children answered at the same time. She shakes her head and begins to walk. The children stay by her side for a little while before tearing off down the street, chasing each other. She would of usually yelled at them but she didn't have to worry about them getting hurt here. It was to calm and quiet.

Amy eyes each child as they chase each other around trees. Emily looked like her before she had left. She had soft black hair with blonde highlights. Her eyes were sky blue which she got off her father. She shakes her head at the thought as if to say don't go there. Her eyes then move to Ethan. He was a slim boy with dirty blonde hair which he got off his mother and forest green eyes that he got off his father. People always found something on Ethan that they compared with Amy. But the truth of the matter was Ethan wasn't Amy's son. Not by blood. When Amy had met Daniel those six years ago, Ethan was two. Daniel had been married before but his wife had died giving birth to Ethan which was their only child. As soon as Amy and Daniel started to date Ethan attached himself to Amy and began to call her mom right away. After Emily was born adoption papers were put into play. Daniel adopted Emily and Amy adopted Ethan.

She was pulled out of her musing after hearing her daughters screams of pain. Amy's eyes widened as she took off down the street. She had slowed during her day dream so her children had gotten ahead of her. She skidded to a stop once she located the crying child who was being comforted by Ethan and a older man. "Emily. What happened?" She rushed to her screaming daughter and gathered her into her arms. She smoothed down the back of the child's hair and looked to Ethan. "What happened?" She asked the shaking boy.

Ethan looked at his mother and wiped his nose. "We was playing tag and Emmy, his nickname for his sister, ran into that man." He pointed to the bewildered man standing about three feet from the scene. "I tried to get Emmy to stop crying but I think she skinned her knee."

Amy finally got her daughter hushed and began to survey her for damage. "Your ok. We just need to get those cuts washed out." She stands up, lifting the little girl in her arms. "I'm sorry sir. My daughter wasn't looking where she was going. But may I ask you if there is someplace by where I could get a paper towel and water."

The man blinked and nodded. He had been staring at the women since she arrived to comfort the screaming child. "You can come inside and I'll get you the things that you need." He unlocks the door and steps inside waiting for the women and children to follow. Once inside he set off to find a rag to wet.

Amy looked around the inside of the building. It was a restaurant of some sorts. Or maybe a coffee house since her nose was detecting the small smell of coffee. She frowned slightly. She had given up her coffee addiction when she found out that she was pregnant with Emily. She watched as the man left the room. "Ethan why don't you have a seat while I get your sister fixed up" Amy pointed to a chair in front of the counter. She sat down beside him and placed Emily on the counter.

The man stood in the shadows watching the small family with a grim look on his face before stepping forward and handing her the rag. "Here you go. I don't remember seeing you before. Are you new in town?" He was just curious now.

Amy takes the rag and begins to clean Emily's scrapped knees. After she is done she placed the child on a stool beside her and hands the man back his rag. "Yes. I'm actually here as a representative of Fine Print Inc. It's a publishing company and we were hopping to move a branch into this area." She was careful to keep her voice business like. She holds out a hand. "I'm Amy. Amy Sinclair."

The man takes her hand and shakes it. He takes note of her firm handshake. "I'm Luke. Luke Danes and this is my place." He motions with his hand to everything around him.

Amy's eyes widen as she drops his hand. She swallows. "These are my children, Emily who is six and Ethan who is eight." Her voice cracks a bit.

Luke nods to the two children then looks back to Amy. "Sinclair? Any relation to the congressman?" He was more than up to date on currents lately.

Amy nods. "He was my husband." She says quietly as she wills the tears not to fall. It was still a touchy subject. "Thanks for your help, Luke. But I think we need to be going. I need to find the mayor."

Luke watches her amused. "Stars Hollow don't have a mayor, Mrs. Sinclair. It has a chairman of business and your looking at him."

Amy blinks and her mouth forms a perfect O. "Well then, Mr. Danes. I think you and I will be seeing a lot of each other for the next couple of days. I hope your wife won't mind?"

Luke shifts, uncomfortable. "I'm not married." He says quietly as he fixes his backward baseball hat on his head. "I was close once but...It just didn't work out."

Amy's heart breaks hearing him talk. She was glad that he wasn't married but sad that he didn't seem happy. "Well then. We should get down to business." She says quickly, changing the subject to something safe.

Luke nodded and leans on his elbows as he listened to her idea. It wasn't a bad idea. It would bring in much needed money for the town. But soon her words began to swarm together. She felt familiar. But where did he know her from?


	3. Chapter 3

It has been two weeks since Amy arrived in Stars Hollow. She spent all fourteen days working with Luke and finally had a working agreement to fax back to Washington D.C. He had agreed that the arrival of Fine Print Inc. would bring much needed money and jobs to the small town.

With a sigh she sat back in the chair she was sitting on and rubbed her neck. Finally she could relax. The job she had set out to do was done and as an added bonus her little secret was safe. The kids were with their nanny that arrived in Stars Hollow the day after them. So it was just her and Luke. The last few minor details had been sorted out half an hour ago and now they were enjoying a light dinner that Luke prepared for them.

She couldn't help but notice the man sitting across from her at the dinner table. He was handsome. His face sported a neatly trimmed go-tee and the hair that was showing under the baseball cap had tasteful streaks of gray beginning to form. He reminded her so much of Daniel. Or maybe it was the other way around. Maybe she was drawn to Daniel because he had reminded her so much of the man she left. A man that she loved more than life itself. Having been lost in a day dream she didn't notice that she was now being watched. Blushing, she looked down at her partially cleared plate.

Luke knew he was being watched ever since they sat down to dinner. But he was curious as to why? Why someone like Amy Sinclair would want to gawk at him? The beautiful widow of a very propionate congressman who was totally above him in every way, shape and form? "Do I have something on my face?" He asked quietly with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Clearing her throat, Amy looked up at him. "Sorry about that. I was just thinking about Daniel." She offered him an apologetic smile. " I mean...you remind me so much of him. Your great with the kids. People love you." She absentmindedly played with her wedding ring. " I think I should go." She wiped her mouth with her napkin and placed it on her plate then stood to leave.

Listening, Luke felt slightly disheartened. He really liked Amy then to be compared to her dead husband. Well, lets just say that it was a blow to his ego. "I don't know what to say being compared to such a great man. But I do know that I don't want you to leave." He stood and walked around the table to stand in front of her. "I've only known you for a week and I feel...I feel the best I have in ages. I feel alive." In the two weeks they spent together working on the agreement for Fine Print Inc. he felt drawn to her. He felt ashamed to be having these feelings towards the widower but he couldn't help it. But he did know that he didn't want to lose her without seeing if she shared those feelings. As wrong as they maybe. "I know you've just lost your husband and I don't want to taint your good name. But I would like to get to know you before you leave. Tell me a little about yourself and how you met your husband." He reached out and rested his hands on her upper arms, in a comforting manner.

Amy felt the shiver race through her body as soon as he touched her. All the old thoughts and feelings towards the man resurfaced in a giant wave of emotion. She felt overwhelmed and had to back away from him. She hugged herself as she moved towards the large window that overlooked the darken square of Stars Hollow. Licking her lips, she began to speak. "Um...I was born and raised Winthrop, which is in the state of Washington. There was about three hundred and fifty people in the entire town. But it was the best place to be a kid. The whole town looks like a old west town. It's amazing." She let out a little laugh then continued. "My mother worked as the librarian for Liberty Bell Junior-Senior High School up until her death in nineteen eighty-four. Daddy owned and ran the Winthrop Inn but sold it to some out of town fellow when he decided to retire in nineteen eighty-nine. Three years later he died of colon cancer that was detected to late." This was a very detailed history that she had six years to come up with. Six years to make it believable. "I received a scholarship from Stratford University in Virginia for Hotel and Restaurant Management. I met Daniel when I applied for the job as his secretary. My schooling was paid for but I needed money to pay for housing and other expenses that I had. The salary was good. Full benefits and close to school. He hired me rater reluctantly I might add. I didn't have a clue to what I was doing. Then one thing lead to another and we found ourselves falling in love with each other. I adored little Ethan and Daniel loved Emily. The next logical step was marriage. He asked and I accepted. I adopted Ethan and Daniel adopted Emily. We were a loving and caring family." She took a shaky breath as the memories began to invade her mind. "We didn't even know Daniel was sick. He...um...He wouldn't let his doctor tell us. He was afraid that we'd worry too much. Then one night he got very sick and had to be rushed to the hospital. That is when we found out that he was in the advanced stages of Leukemia. Two days later he died surrounded by his friends and family." Tears were running freely from her eyes.

Luke was silent while she spoke. Taking in everything she was saying. "Ethan and Emily? Ethan isn't your child?" He didn't mean to sound rude but he was curious. Anything he ever read about the Sinclair family never mentioned the fact that both children were adopted by the other spouse. It always referred to them as the Sinclair children.

Wiping her eyes, Amy turned to look at Luke. "No. Ethan's mother died giving birth to him. He was two when I came into their lives. But I love that little boy like he's my own. I wouldn't have it any other way and neither would Daniel. He agreed that I should become the boys mother so I adopted him. Emily was a newborn when we got together and he was the only father she ever knew. He wouldn't hear of anything except adopting her." She held up a hand to stop any more questions. "Emily's father doesn't even know she exists. I left him before he found out. Things just weren't meant to be for us." She sat down in the nearest chair, unable to stand anymore since her legs were shaking so bad. She was so close to telling the truth that it scared her. " I have an older daughter that the kids know nothing about. Daniel knew. Daniel knew everything about me before we got married." She looked down at her hands that were resting on her lap. "She disappointed me. I guess that is one of the reasons why I left Emily's father. We were fighting about my oldest daughter, constantly. He didn't understand why I had disowned her. He didn't understand how she became the one thing that I fought so desperately against when I was younger. Something I despised against all other." She shook her head and glanced down at the diamond studded watch that was wrapped around her wrist. "I should get going. It's been a pleasure doing business with you Mr. Danes but I should really start packing. We have a early flight. If your ever in Washington D.C. look me up." She stood and placed a chaste kiss upon his cheek then pulled the door open, smiling at the bell that dinged when she did.

He was in awe at her story then it started to sound familiar like deja-vu. Luke watched as she stood and headed towards the door. She was leaving and he'd probably never see her again.

"What was your daughters name? The oldest one?" He questioned.

She stepped out and onto the cement step before hearing his final question. She knew the chances of seeing him in D.C. was slim to none so what would it hurt? "I think in your heart you already know the answer to that but I'll tell you anyways. Rory. Rory is my oldest daughters name. Goodbye Luke." With that she slipped out into the inky blackness of the night and into a waiting black town car.

Luke froze hearing the name. A name he was all to familiar with. Rory. Daughter of Lorelai and a man named Christopher. His Lorelai. The woman he loved beyond anything in the world. The woman that was right in front of him for two weeks and he didn't even know it. Lorelai who was know known as Amy. Someone else's wife and mother.


	4. Chapter 4

Luke searched for Lorelai. Two years passed him by while doing so. He told no one of his quest and would disappear from Stars Hollow for weeks at a time. He'd always return in a even fouler mood than when he left. Those missing weeks were spent in Washington D.C. He'd stay in a hotel downtown and then use all the resources available to him to search for the love of his life. He came up empty each time. Apparently Lorelai, or Amy as she is known as now, was very good at disappearing. Everyone that he talked to either didn't know who she was or where she was. He Luke was growing frustrated with every wasted trip. He needed to see her. Needed to see a daughter he knew nothing about.

His eyes were glued to the Potomac from where he sat in a small café over looking the historic river. Luke felt tired. Maybe he should just give up? It was obvious that she didn't want anything to do with him so why bother? His eyes shifted from the river to the picture that lay, face up, on the table. It was a old picture of himself, Lorelai and Rory taken at the start of their relationship. He couldn't help the tears that were prickling the back of his eyelids. They looked so happy. So content. He absentmindedly sipped his cold coffee, lost in thought.

Marie Tolesky had been a waitress that the Potomac Café for eleven years. She served hundreds if not thousands of people. She spoke to nearly half of the people she served but one man caught her attention. For two years he had been coming into the café and in those two years she had never seen him smile. Never seen him happy. She had tried to speak to him on numerous occasions but his heart wasn't in the conversation so she left him be. A smile, friendly, smile slid onto her lips as she brushed off the front of her black and white outfit. The tray she was carrying held one of their famous muffins that she always gave to the man as a gesture of kindness. Marie made her way over to the man and sat the muffin down beside his coffee. "Good morning, stranger." Her voice was soft.

Luke blinked as his thoughts were interrupted. Over the two years he had been coming to this café he had noticed one waitress being extra nice to him. Now he found himself face to face with her once again. "Good morning." Came his equally soft reply.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Her curiosity was getting the best of her. Marie's eyes were drawn to the picture on the table. "Oh. Are you friends with Mrs. Sinclair?" This kinda surprised her since he didn't look like the type of person Amy Sinclair would associate with.

His eyes shot up to search hers. "You know Lor...Amy?" Luke seemed shocked. "I knew her, yes." He needed more information from the waitress before he could say anything else.

"Of course I know who she is, silly. Everyone who lives here knows who she is." Marie eyed the picture once again. "She looks different in that picture. Never seen her look like that before."

Luke felt his hope go right out the window. She knew of her but not her personally. "Oh. I knew her a lifetime ago." He looked down at his hands. " I knew her before she married Mr. Sinclair and I thought it would be nice to see her again. Catch up on things."

"You came all the way for Washington State to see her again? You must have been best friends." She slipped into a chair across from him. "She used to come in here every day with her husband and kids. Then after Mr. Sinclair died, I saw her once or twice. She lives up the street in one of the royal penthouses so they would walk. You could hear the giggling of the kids before they arrived. Mr. Sinclair would always challenge them to a race to see who could get here the fastest. He'd always let them win. You could tell by the way his eyes would twinkle when they gloated at the victory. He was a good man. A good father. This is more proof that only the good die young." Marie stopped talking and blushed. "I'm Marie by the way. Now about my question...do you have a name or do you like being called stranger?" She smiled.

He listened to her. He finally knew where she lived all thanks to this very kind, talkative, waitress. "I'm Luke." He took another sip of his coffee. "Mr. Sinclair sounded like a good man. I wish I could have met him. When I knew..Amy..she wasn't that good with men. I think they scared her to a point. I'm just glad she found someone that was good to her. God only knows that she deserved it." He kinda felt guilty now after hearing how good of a man Daniel Sinclair was. He was the kind of man that Lorelai deserved. He gave her the world while Luke couldn't even give her Stars Hollow.

"Hey, are you alright? You don't look so hot?" Marie noticed that Luke looked paler than when she sat down. She looked up towards the door after hearing the bell ding. "Well, speak of the devil." She mumbled, amused. "Here we are talking about Amy Sinclair and she walks in the door. You want me to tell her you're here?" She stood and grabbed her tray off the table where she laid it when she sat down.


	5. Chapter 5

Luke blinked and turned to follow Marie's eyes. There standing in the doorway was none other than Amy. She looked frazzled but good. She actually reminded him of Emily Gilmore the way she was dressed, this thought made him chuckle to himself. "Um...I want it to be a surprise." He waved the waitress off with his hand as he stood and headed towards the woman.

Feeling eyes upon her, Amy let her own wonder over the other customers of the café until they came to rest upon the man approaching her. A small smile actually turned the corners of her mouth up. She wasn't the least bit surprised to see him. It was this fact that caused her to meet him halfway. "Can I join you?" She motioned with her head towards the table where the waitress was still standing. An eyebrow raised in question.

Blinking, he turned back to the table and sat then motioned for her to join him. He just noticed that obvious presence of her two children but didn't mention. "You don't seem very surprised to see me." It was the first thing that he could think of to say.

Smiling ,she sat down and accepted a cup of tea from the waitress. She was known here. "Mm." She set the cup down and leaned back on the chair. "Why would I be? I didn't expect any less from you once you found out who I was. The only thing I'm surprised about is the amount of time it took you to actually find me, if that is, indeed, the reason why you're here in DC."

"Why else would I be in this godforsaken city!" Luke snapped a little louder than he meant and gave an apologetic smile to those who turned to look at them. "Sorry." He mumbled to his companion sitting across from him.

Amy chuckled and shook her head. "No need to apologize to me. I was married to a Congressman, remember? I'm used to unwanted attention."She eyed him a moment. He looked older than he should. Older than she remembered. She pulled her gaze away from him and caught the attention of the waitress. "Please add this to my tab." Her attention went back to the man sitting across from her. "Lets go for a walk." She stood up and weaved through the tables and breathed in the fresh air once they reached the outside. She knew he was right behind her. "You have questions, yes?"

Luke followed the woman who was so familiar and yet a stranger. He brought himself into step beside her as they walked down one of the paved paths that lead through the park by the water. "Yes. I have questions." This was clearly an invitation for him to ask whatever he wanted. He maneuvered them both to a bench and sat down. He was silent for several minutes trying to gather his thoughts. "Why did you leave?" This was the one question that he truly _needed _to know the answer to.

She glanced down at her hands then smiled sadly at him. "I didn't leave because of you, Luke. I really did love you and had all intentions of making good on my proposal but...things just got complicated." Amy shook her head knowing how lame that sounded.

He looked over at her then turned his attention back to the water. "I don't understand, Lor...Amy. You said that you loved me but not enough to fight for our relationship when things got complicated?" Luke couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice. "So instead you packed up your bags and left? You started a new life. Hell, you even took on a new identity. You forgot about all of us so easily. And you're going to sit there and tell me it wasn't my fault? Why else would you have felt the need to do all of that?"

Amy sighed. She'd have to tell him the truth, that much was clear. "I left because I was afraid of what was happening. Everything was falling apart, or at least I felt it was." She glanced over at him and let herself drink in his appearance. She couldn't help but notice the similarities between him and her youngest child. It would be apparent in a few short years just who Emily's biological father really was. She let her gaze shift to a passing jogger. "I left because of a lot of things, Luke. My relationship with Rory...didn't exist anymore. The day that I looked at her and saw a complete stranger was the beginning, I guess. It hurt so much to know that she choose my parents over me..." She shrugged.

"So you left because of...because of Rory?" Luke let the disbelief show on his face and color his voice.

"Yes and No. It's part of the reason why I left. She was my kid and...It's hard to explain. I guess you could say that it was the icing on the cake." She gave him a sad smile. "Luke..." She hesitated. "I was pregnant when I left." She said quietly and let him soak in the news.

"Preg...You were pregnant?" He felt his eyes go wide in surprise. Slowly, the pieces seemed to snap together. "Pregnant with my baby?" He whispered. "I was going to be a father?" Luke felt the ache pierce his heart. She took away his child. If possible, his eyes widened further. "Emily..." He flashed back to the first time he met the little girl. "She's my daughter." He choked out.

Amy found herself nodding. "Emily is your biological child, yes. But Daniel was her father, Luke. Legally, he _was _her father." She added, softly.

He snorted, angerly. "He was her father _only _because you didn't even give me a chance, Lorelai! You took that from me!" Luke looked horrified.

"It was my choice, Luke Danes!" She snapped, angry that he called her Lorelai while they were in public. All she needed was to have a reporter passing by at the right moment and BOOM, scandal time. "It was my body. My child. My life was falling apart. Rory _hated _me, Luke. _HATED _me! Her own mother! I had to get out of there before I was consumed by my pain. It was the only way that my child would have a happy life. I did it for Emily. I did it so she could have her mother all there. Call me selfish but I would be damned if I was going to lose another child to the Gilmores. Because that is exactly what would have happened." She turned her cold eyes to him. "I would have had a nervous breakdown, my parents would have found out about the child and then they would have taken her _right out_ from under me...us. Their lawyers would have made you out to be an unfit parent and I would have been considered emotionally unsound and unable to raise a child. Dangerous even. I did what was best for us all. I never planned on falling in love and I certainly never planned on getting married. I just needed time to collect myself and get my head on straight." She sighed, knowing that he'd never fully, if at all, understand her reasons for leaving. "I couldn't lose another child, Luke. That baby was my lifeline. Take that away and I would have no longer existed. Lorelai Gilmore would have given up and let the darkness nipping at her heals consume her." She stared, unblinking, at the Potomac.

"But you are Lorelai Gilmore and the Lorelai I knew and loved would have never given up. She was the most stubborn person I'd ever met." Luke let a small smile turn the corners of his lips up.

Amy snorted, softly. "When I came here, I was a mess. I had no money and knew absolutely no one. I felt like I was sixteen again. When I applied for the job of secretary for Congressman Sinclair, I knew there was a very slim chance that the name Gilmore would be recognized. I couldn't let that happen. So I became Amy Russell from Winthrop, Washington. After that it was easy to add to the story when asked about my life." She fell silent again.

Luke sighed and shook his head. This was all so very complicated and he needed to change the subject just until everything settled in his brain. "Rory asks about you whenever I see her, always wanting to know if you've contacted me. She misses you."

"I'm surprised that she even remembers me." Came the whisper. "We fought about her a lot, didn't we?" Amy glanced over at him then down at her feet.

"Ya, I guess we did. I couldn't understand why you, all but legally, disowned her. And you never wanted to talk about it." Luke shifted on the bench until he was facing her. "So why did you?" He was pressing his luck and he knew it.

"She wasn't my daughter anymore." Was Amy's simple reply. "I didn't raise her to act like a spoiled rich kid which was _exactly _how she was acting. She became everything I had so fiercely rebelled against as a teenager. Like I said before...it hurt. It hurt to know that she would just push aside everything I had taught her just so she could have a free ride in life. Back then, I guess I could never admit that. But I've had awhile to think about it and I know that that is the truth."

"She married. Did you know that?." Luke added to the conversation after a few moments of silence.

"Mm, I know." Seeing his surprised look, Amy continued. "Daniel was a very influential and powerful man. Once he found out who I really was...and that I had another child...he did everything in his power to keep me updated on her life. He, like you, didn't understand the situation but that didn't stop him from trying to help fix it."

Luke reached over and placed his hand on hers. "He sounded like a good man." He quietly told her.

"He was." She cleared her throught and blinked back the tears that had formed in her eyes. Taking a deep, shaky breath, she continued. "Rory Gilmore became Rory Gilmore-Huntzberger five years ago. She never returned to Yale nor did she complete her education. Instead she choose to become a housewife. Staying home while her husband supported her and any children they may have." Amy snorted but continued. "She has one child, a boy named Teegan, and one on the way. As of six months ago she's been engaged in a divorce proceeding and a custody battle. She found her loving husband in their bed doing the wild thing with their live-in nanny. She filed for divorce the very next day. Did I leave anything out?"

Blinking, Luke frowned. "How...?"

"Like I said, my husband was a very powerful man. Private investigators didn't even put a dent in our bank account and several are still on the payroll. I still get weekly reports on her." Amy smiled, sadly. "Pretty bad that the investigators have more of a relationship with my own daughter than I do." Her voice was bitter.

Luke sighed and looked down at his hands. "Then why don't you do something about that? Things have changed and so have people." Came his soft reply. "You might be surprised."

"I wish it was that easy, Luke. I really do." Now it was Amy's turn to look at her hands. "Ethan's grandparents would have a field day if they ever found out about this. They've wanted custody of him ever since Daniel died but he made sure that that would never happen. Ethan's mother, Victoria, was from a very old Texas family. They didn't think Daniel was good enough for their eldest child but they married anyways. After Victoria died, they tried to take Ethan away. It really put a bee in their bonnet when he married me and adopted Emily. The final straw was when I adopted Ethan. They declared all out war against our family. Ever since then, they've been waiting for me to screw up so they can swoop in and _rescue _their beloved grandson, whom they haven't seen since he was a baby. So I can't just go make things better with Rory, I can't risk losing my son."

"That's...complicated. They would really take him away from the only parent he has left? The only mother that he's ever known?" Luke was wishing that he had never left his quiet little town. "How do you do it?" He whispered in quiet awe.

She turned to him with a smirk on her lips. "I'm used to it, Luke. You didn't think that I was still that small town girl, didya?" Amy raised an eyebrow in question and bumped her shoulder into his.

"Nah. I don't think you ever _were_ a small town girl."Luke bumped his shoulder back into hers. "So...what now?" It was a simple question.

Amy smiled. "Well...I think it would be alright for you to get to know Emily and after that...After that we'll take one day at a time. Maybe sometime in the future I'll be able to fix things with Rory without worrying about losing Ethan."

"That sounds...more than I had hoped for." Luke turned his gaze back to the water which was sparkling from the sun. The past was now in the past. And the future never looked so bright.


End file.
